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|Worst Album Covers Ever
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Folks,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], there's a good reason aliens haven't visited our planet since Roswell.
It's our album covers from the 60's and 70's. They took one look and realized that Earth (much like the sloth exhibit at your local zoo) wasn't worth the time,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. I present to you a rogue's gallery of some of the most heinous art work to ever appear on an album jacket,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Below you'll find the first to make the worst ever charts,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
Ladies and gents, please give it up for the Christian Crusaders with Al Davis. This is an glaring example of one of churches' biggest problems -- the ubiquitous coffee and doughnut hour after the service. One of these singers obviously has found a friend in the glazed cruller. Oh,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you can feel the photographers pain -- how do I balance this photo out -- looks like Al = three of the other crusaders. I am,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], however,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], concerned for the trim woman in the middle. Al just may get hunger pangs during a concert.
Now, let's turn our attention to Geraldine and Ricky. Apparently a clone of Priscilla Presley is singing duets with a ventriloquist's dummy called Ricky. Quite possibly, the dummy is Geraldine and Ricky,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the singer.
The album is called Trees Talk Too! (if it wasn't for the exclamation point, I wouldn't have been as excited to plunk down my money for this dynamic duo.) The album did well but when it came to live concerts,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Ricky pulled a Brian Wilson and didn't sing. He retired and is now somewhere in a cord of firewood.
Now for our third entrant. I always wondered what happened to the thousands of cinnamon-colored round collared outfits that Woolworth was dumping circa 1973. Apparently, the Country Chuch members must don these nausea inducing vests and wear pants that resemble some bad drapes. This group bought up the last remaining grey "one size fits all but the chubby on the right" turtleneck sweaters. And what is "meathead" doing on this cover. Not even group prayer can help these guys grow decent moustaches.
And the poor woman not only has to put up with having one singer pawing her neck, she is forced to wearing her grandmother's hand-me-downs.
Another entry is a wonderfully uplifting album called "All My Friends are Dead." Frankly, I think they died of embarrassment when Freddie "Kruger" Gage showed up wearing white cheer leading boots and a matching shirt and tie. It's well, Cemetery Chic.
Below is another "winner." Butch Yelton and Upbound. This cover has a nice Lizzy Borden vibe.
There's nothing like having a potential serial killer headlining your band,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. My educated guess is that "Butch" (AKA Norman Bates) is the one wielding the lethal weapon in "Swing That Gospel Axe." I'm not sure what Butch is cutting down but I hope it's the price of the album,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
Next up,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Mr. Bat Sings. You know, a clown is scary enough. But a clown that sings?
I'm sorry,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but was John Wayne Gacy not available? Let me see if I get the concept. Instead of a Bat Suit,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Mr. Bat is dressed in a Bozo-like clown suit festooned with musical notes. Seems like somebody airbrushed the knife out of his left hand. It looks like Mr. Twetan was the accompanist.
I'm sure Jim Post is a wonderful crooner, but does this look like a man whose album is titled I love my life?
Frankly,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], this is a guy who looks like he's passing a stone -- maybe two or three. And the droopy Sam Elliot length mustache isn't helping.
Apparently, his upstairs neighbor agrees -- spraying what I can only assume is water on Mr. Post's head. I love my life too,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], that's why I'm not buying the album.
This will teach Gerhard to attend a cannibal-hosted Luau. When he was told he was headlining the event, he should have taken that literally. Who pitched this design concept? "Let's take Herr Polt's head and stick it on a pineapple ring and a slice of SPAM." In a related story, after the album went on sale,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], prices for pineapples hit a record low.