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2012 predictions from the Cheap Seats
PostPosted: Fri 22:05, 30 Aug 2013
cheapbag214s

 
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2012 predictions from the Cheap Seats
2011 was kind of a down year for sports although nearly 60% of my predictions came true. In order to keep up with my success rate for predicting a future that will be (that is good enough to qualify me to be one of that fake Jamiacan lady's sidekicks or an expert analyst with Fox Sports),[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I present my predictions for 2012:
* In an effort to maintain roster stability in the NFL for the 2012 season,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the league creates a new roster designation similar to the injured reserve list that enables a team to fill the vacant holes in their lineup.
This new designation,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], called the legal obligation list,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], was necessitated after so many players were forced to miss time because of litigation or pending charges incurred during their downtime during the lockout in 2011. Teams will be required to finalize their LOL list prior to each game.
* I predict that the NBA and their players union will settle their differences sometime in late February and the last three weeks of the season will be played in a college basketball tournament style to determine the champion. It would make the season more inter. What is that you say? Ummm,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], whoops. Apparently,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the lockout ended and the season started already. Yeah, I hadn't noticed either.
* The Roman Catholic Church, in an effort to capitalize on the zealotry surrounding Current-Bronco,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], former-Florida messiah Tim Tebow with the God and Football crowd, will put into doctrine that all communion must now be accepted in the Tebowing position.
* In a move that electrifies the nation's capital for the first time in months, the Washington Nationals will win the World Series. The Curse of Being from Canada will be finally lifted from this once proud franchise that was only mildly embarrassed from being called the Expos all those years. Ron Paul throws out the first pitch of Game 7 and breaks a hip. Somewhere,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Tim Raines smiles.
* At some point some rumors will circulate regarding the vacant Tampa Bay Buccaneers head coaching job about,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], in this order,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], John Gruden, Bill Cowher,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Bill Parcels,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Derrick Brooks and Steve Mariucci. Each will be confirmed and spread like a bad cold by some hack with a twitter account because their cousin/friend-from-work/guy-they-are-facebook-friends with's cousin/hairdresser/parole-officer can positively confirm they saw them at the local team-facility/stadium/Wendy's-on-the-corner. None prove to be true.
* Later in the year,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], someone will start a rumor on Twitter that Roger Clemens died after a two-week binge drinking session in Tijuana that quickly reaches near-Bill Cosby magnitude. This proves not to be true. Every one of those same hacks with a Twitter account decries the silly rumor mongering that goes on.
* I will start a Twitter rumor with hashtags RogerClemens, mainliningtequila,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and Tijuana.
* The Miami Dolphins will be undefeated through mid-December. Behind Andrew Luck,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], who they miraculously manage to draft by trading the entire Marlins baseball team to Indianapolis, they become the vogue holiday pick to win the Super Bowl. A Mayan apocalypse destroys the world around that same time.
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